Or at least that’s the rumor:

Sometime between 7 and 7:30, not long after I got home from work, I walked to the CVS on 22nd and M to get some bread, milk, and a SmartTrip card. I was right across the street from the CVS, and I waited for the crosswalk light to tell me to go before I crossed. I had plenty of time left, according to the countdown clock. I was more than halfway there when a black SUV made an illegal left turn and hit me head-on. I absolutely had the right of way. I yelled something like, “Are you really doing this?” as it hit me before I could move. I landed on my face on the street and smashed my glasses and scraped my hand and immediately I knew something was wrong with my left knee.

I lay there screaming and cursing for I don’t know how long, and a crowd of people gathered and told me to hold still. I was sprawled out right next to the yellow line as traffic went by. I gave one guy standing over me the number to the Daily Caller offices and he told them what happened. There’s a firehouse right across the street, so the paramedics were there in just a couple of minutes. They took me to Georgetown Hospital, where I was soon joined by my friends and co-workers Moira Bagley, Tucker Carlson, Neil Patel, and Laura Baños. All of whom I love. Unironically. I was x-rayed and CAT-scanned and given pain medication and told that my knee was broken. I almost passed out twice from the pain. They immobilized it, but if I tried to move it and didn’t get it exactly right, my whole leg tried to close up like a fist and I couldn’t get away from the pain.

I’m typing this on Neil’s laptop on my chest on his fold-out bed in his basement and trying to move as little as possible. Now that I’ve written this out, maybe I can sleep. Sorry for the sloppiness, but I just wanted to get it out while it’s fresh in my mind.

One last thing: I’m told by multiple people that the SUV that hit me was Secret Service. If this is true, I want to know why that happened. I was crossing legally, and they just left me there. At the very least, I want an apology. What happened to me was wrong.

You’re goddamn right it’s wrong. For those of you who don’t know him, Jim is arguably the most consistently funny Conservative blogger out there, which is why Tucker Carlson tapped him to run the comedy/news, (or at least comedic snark) section of The Daily Caller. Make the D.C. Trawler part of your day. You won’t be disappointed.

But the worst part of it is, as Ed notes:

However, the police added insult to injury by issuing Jim a citation for jaywalking, which Tucker Carlson tells me is “completely false and made up.” Tucker also talked to the driver today, who refused to discuss his employer.  Keep an eye on the Daily Caller — this story has gotten stranger and may get stranger still.

A ticket for jaywalking? Are you fucking kidding me? I didn’t even know that was a law anymore. I thought it went out with not being aloud to wink at girls or it being illegal to have a sleeping donkey in your bathtub after 7 p.m. Or wasn’t there one where you couldn’t bathe a raccoon naked in your front yard after dark while simultaneously basting a turkey with a half-empty toothpaste tube?

Ya gotta love Blondes

Or wait, what about the one where you have to buy health insurance or else you go to jail? Remember that crazy idea?

Or wait…what about the one where you need a city permit to play leapfrog in a public park.

Sorry. I was channeling my inner Treach. And no, I don’t do it anywhere nearly as well as he does. Bad imitation though, I hope, is still the mother of all flattery.

Get well soon Jim. We miss you already and we need you.

Russ

How I always imagined Jim at work

Update on Thursday, February 4, 2010 at 2:19PM by Russ

Correction from the Daily Caller: (via HotAir)

The Daily Caller has been told by federal law enforcement sources that the Secret Service was not involved, and is working to confirm that the driver of the vehicle which struck Jim Treacher was a State Department security employee.

Isn’t that somehow worse?

Update on Thursday, February 4, 2010 at 2:29PM by Russ

Apologies to the Secret Service.

Update on Friday, February 5, 2010 at 1:05PM by Russ

Lawlessness in D.C.

(via HotAir)

It’s fucking rampant folks:

The State Department has refused to answer basic questions about an accident that took place in Washington on Wednesday night, in which a U.S. Diplomatic Security Service vehicle struck Daily Caller employee Sean Medlock as he was crossing the street.

An agent in the vehicle, Mike McGuinn, did not identify himself to Medlock at the scene, or apologize for running him down. Indeed, Washington, D.C., police drove to a local emergency room to serve Medlock with a jaywalking citation as he lay prostrate in a hospital bed, while a man who identified himself as “special agent” stood by watching and taking notes.

Do we really need the ‘Cloak & Dagger’ shit in this instance? Just own up to the accident, apologize and take care of the bills.

How fucking hard is this?

Treach deserves answers and he should shove that jaywalking ticket right up their ass. I know it’s $20, but get a lawyer and fight it. Make them prove it in open court and subpoena the asshole federal agent that ran him down.

Make him lie on the stand. It’ll be the greatest municipal court drama of all-time.

We got your back Treach. Give ‘em hell.

Update on Monday, February 8, 2010 at 8:23PM by Russ

The terrific Kill Truck over at POWIP sets the record, (or more accurately the craven liars at Media Matters), straight on Jim’s getting mauled by a State Department maniac:

And Media Matters ran with it.  Grasping at an imaginary straw they base this whole… article on saying Treacher said something he never said.

“It’s true that a conservative blogger, who writes under name Jim Treacher, immediately claimed he’d been hit by a Secret Service SUV. (Which, of course, lit a fire under the conspiratorial, right-wing blogosphere.) But in fact, he was not hit by a Secret Service vehicle. The claim, according to “federal law enforcement officials,” was baseless. (The driver reportedly worked for the State Dept.)”

You lie!  Treacher never claimed he was hit by a Secret Service SUV.  He claimed someone told him they were Secret Service, and he said if that’s true he would like to know why.  And as the story developed he continued to post updates and clarifications, in spite of his injuries.  That’s it.  Doesn’t matter, the moonbats ran with it.  Media matters.

She also gave us a completely undeserved shout out in her post:

P.S. check out That’s Right’s post from the day of the accident.  In fact, check out his whole site.  I think he’s neat.  I met him in the DC Trawler’s comment section!

Well, let me tell you something KT, we think you’re freakin’ awesome!

In true Treacher-esqueness, the crew at POWIP and SnarkandBoobs is some of the best readin’ you’ll do in any given day. Make it a point to get your fill.

Thanks KT!