I was gonna talk about the CL, but then I did the smart thing, for once in my life, and let the Reb do it better:
My friend The Classical Liberal is a good blogger everyday, but of late he has been hitting them out of the park. I figure most of our readers make their way over there without any help from us, but I have to comment on some of CL’s recent posts.
I do have to quote this one though:,
They didn’t convert me to full-fledged conspiratorialness,
(quote taken completely out of context warning)
“They” are the birchers. I took a quote out of context because I’m not gonna talk about that, stupids.
What I’m talking about is that I, too, have been to a Bircher dinner. Not a sidewalk kook LaRouche circus, but a full on ‘wear a suit, talk jibber, eat the shrimp (which was great),’ bla bla bla-style production. The shrimp was great. No, really. Nice room, chandeliers, silk napkins…the works. But I digress.
It was all good until the point, after some very good rational speeches, when a 15-year old girl (who had been to the camp) broke down crying-no…not crying…dry heaving- over what can be most leniently described as a “conspiracy-from-the-get-go” theory of the United States reminiscent of the 9/11 truther assclowns outside the WTC Path station I see every year I go back to Ground Zero to pay my respects. Yeh…it was that ridiculous.
I don’t know where that girl is today, but I do fear for her sanity.
Honesty full here folks; I was a JFK ‘truther’ for ehh, around five years. Still, to this day, it’s a great movie. But fuck Oliver Stone. Anyway.
Then I actually went to Dealey Plaza, as a JFK conspiracist, on the 40th anniversary of our 35th President’s death-(got pictures of the wrestler-turn-psycho on the grassy knoll to prove it)-and realized that I could have shot JFK three times with a busted sight bolt-action rifle from that distance.
(Dude. It’s that small. Say what you will-that’s still your right-but L.H. Oswald was a Marine.They don’t miss. Even the traitors. You don’t walk out of Paris without knowing how to kill something from 300 yards. Sorry. It’s that easy a shot.)
On the Birchers, they’re nuts. If I may paraphrase my favorite mere mortal, ‘if there is such a group…we may as well all be dead.’ But we’re not. Riddle me that.
Nobody’s pulling the strings folks because nobody can pull the strings. This is the lesson that we need to learn.
In the nuttiest of shells:
The butcher the baker and the candlestick-maker together with the lawyer the doctor and the businessman together with the owner the other owner and the richer owner together, don’t have a fucking clue what’s going on among the hundreds of hundreds of millions of you and me that are doing stuff.
That’s my quote. That’s the truth.
Conspiracies, in my limited experience, succeed like any other crime, until they’re caught. If two people can keep a secret, one of them is dead. Most of them get caught.
In the grand scheme of things, if you believe that there is more than one person agreeing to rule the world…(with a whole bunch of other people)…and your every move is thereby not your own…?
Then, I say you’re fucking retarded.